WEEKEND RECAP: FROM AUNTIE’S 50TH TO BEING ADOPTED BY TWO ICONZ IN A LIFT
This weekend was meant to be wholesome family vibes. A simple little 50th for my auntie. Maybe a cheeky wine. Maybe two. But of course your girl got TIPSY AF on the family prosecco and suddenly the club was calling my name louder than a Love Island boy saying “Can I pull you for a chat.”
Next thing you know I’m in the club surrounded by UK boys whose accents could make me sign a 12 month lease I didn’t read. The vibes were top tier. The music was vibing. I was vibing. Even my hair was vibing and that never happens when humidity is around.
My “Sunday scary” activated around 5:30pm but it instantly turned into a “Sunday funday” the second I stepped into the lift to go home. I swear I was seconds away from passing out in the Uber when suddenly a ICON stopped me like I was a lost Kardashian at Westfield. He recognised me from Aussie Shore and I kid you not they adopted me immediately.
Before I could say Trashy Timez they had me in their apartment feeding me a six course dinner like I was the Queen of Melbourne. I walked in and was handed tequila in one hand and red wine in the other like some twisted fine dining degustation. They were treating me better than any man I have ever spoken to. Ever.
And then Neil… NEIL. This queen literally cleaned my heels. My actual heels. I have never felt more respected in my entire life. I was ready to propose on the spot. Meanwhile Simon was giving MasterChef energy in the kitchen and their dog D’Angelo was acting like my emotional support animal. I genuinely felt like Beyoncé during the Renaissance tour. Life changing.
We ended up organising a night out on the 20th because when Trashy Angels appear in a lift and feed you a 6 course meal you don’t question it you FOLLOW THE VIBE. Simon and Neil are now my besties for life. Found family era. I love them with my whole chaotic heart and I’m also obsessed with their dog because obviously.
This is your reminder that the universe sends you random blessings when you’re wearing cute heels and slightly tipsy. Stay delulu and always get in the lift.
Love,
Cati xx
