CATIA’S ULTIMATE SESH SETUP
For the girlies who spiral, slay & somehow end up therapising each other at 2am. 💋✨
If you’ve ever wondered why a “quick drink” at my place turns into a full-blown documentary, a group therapy session, and a minor spiritual awakening…welcome.
This is the official Cati-coded guide to hosting the perfect sesh.
A sesh that’s unhinged, heartfelt, fun, chaotic… and lowkey healing.
Let’s break down the essentials.
1. THE WHITEBOARD:THE SESH PSYCHOLOGIST & MANIFESTATION PORTAL
My whiteboard is the backbone of every iconic night.
A) The PROS & CONS
Where delusion goes to die… or get justified.
This board has witnessed more character development than a Netflix series.
It handles extremely serious evaluations like:
• Pros & cons of texting him back
• Pros & cons of blocking him
• Pros & cons of going to the club
• Pros & cons of a situationship that’s hanging by a thread
• Pros & cons of one more shot (the answer is always yes)
You’ll have:
One girl crying.
One girl doing bullet points like she’s presenting a legal case.
One girl eating garlic bread.
A perfect ecosystem.
B) The “Where Will ___ Be in 5 Years?” Mind Map
This is where manifestation meets delusion meets group therapy.
You write a name in the centre and suddenly it becomes an FBI investigation.
Where will Catia be in 5 years?
• Running Trashy Timez globally
• Filming season 8 of Aussie Shore
• Rich auntie era
• Mentally stable (we’ll see)
• Living between Melbourne, New York & Italy
Where will your ex be in 5 years?
• Bald
• Regretting everything
• Still peeking at your Insta
• Still blocked
Where will the whole friend group be?
• Group holidays
• Babysitting each other’s kids
• Still doing Truth or Dare at 30
• Spiralling… in nicer houses
2. GAMES THAT BRING OUT THE CHAOS
Every sesh needs games that expose everything you’ve tried to emotionally suppress:
• Truth or Dare: Always a classic, but (I’ll attach some truth or dares Cati-coded edition to spice it up xx)
• Never have I ever (Cati coded questions attached below)
These games turn the sesh into a cinematic universe.
3. THE COSTUME BOX:WHERE PERSONALITIES ARE BORN
A Cati sesh means:
• Wigs that have been through trauma
• Dollar-store tiaras
• Feather boas
• Sunglasses at night
• Angel wings
• One cowboy hat
• One devil horn headband
• An outfit that screams “I may cry, but I’ll look hot doing it”
By midnight everyone looks like extras from a Y2K music video.
Stunning. Chaotic. Iconic.
4. THE SNACK TABLE — FUEL FOR THE DRAMA
A perfect sesh has high-low snack energy:
• Dip you promise you won’t demolish (you will), Crackers & Chippies
• One fancy cheese for class
• Garlic bread
• A half-eaten chocolate bar someone found in their car
It’s not a sesh until someone is trauma-bond eating.
5. THE BEVERAGE CART: PICK YOUR POISON
Everyone’s drink choice predicts their night:
• Tequila: Honesty hour unlocked
• Any type of wine: Sweet girl turned saboteur
• Vodka Cruisers: Nostalgia icons
• UDLs: Delulu behaviour incoming
• Water: Someone has responsibilities tomorrow
The chaos level rises accordingly.
6. THE PLAYLIST:MUSIC DETERMINES WHO YOU BECOME
A real sesh has eras: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6P41RiFCEs4JARuiDQ9WDu?si=fSmYAx9GRse0E9yK7B-_4Q&pt=6cb45e05f6d625d5d560f76485826e36&pi=u7Z7VIQ7RS6So
• Warm-up slay: Britney, Pussy Cat dolls
• Delulu era: love songs that hit too hard
• Peak chaos: Trashy Timez playlist on Spotify
• Emotional collapse: Olivia R & Madison Beer (Reckless CYA)
• Rebirth: One More Time energy
The playlist controls the trauma bonding.
7. THE LIGHTING:NEVER TURN THE BIG LIGHT ON
You need:
• Fairy lights
• LED strips
• Lamps
• Candles
• Anything BUT overhead lighting
The vibe should SCREAM Pinterest at 1am xx
8. THE DEBRIEF CORNER:SACRED GROUND
This is where the real sesh happens.
Locations include:
• The kitchen floor
• The hallway
• The shower
• On top of someone’s suitcase
This is where DNMs, trauma dumps and iconic breakthroughs happen.
9. THE GROUP PHOTO + THE POLAROID MOMENT
No Cati sesh is complete without a chaotic photoshoot.
Someone shouts “LIGHTING CHECK!”
Suddenly everyone’s a supermodel.
But the REAL magic?
Polaroids & digi cams from Kmart.
Because printed evidence hits different.
• Polaroids = instant emotional damage
• Digi cam pics = Y2K party energy
• Printing them = scrapbooking for the next sesh
• Seeing them again = serotonin refill
You take 243 photos.
Three are usable.
One becomes iconic.
The rest get printed, put on the fridge, and laughed at for months.
10. THE FINAL RULE: LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS AT THE DOOR…
But bring them back in if they’re funny.
THE CONCLUSION
A Cati Sesh is not just a night out.
It’s an emotional marathon, a comedy special, a spiritual awakening, a therapy session, and sometimes a crime scene.
You don’t attend a sesh
you experience it, you survive it, you spiral, you slay, you laugh, you cry and you leave a brand-new person with at least one new inside joke and 72 blurry photos xx
TRUTHS
• Which one of your exes could text you right now and you’d cave
• The most delulu thing you’ve done for a crush
• Who in the room do you trust the most?
• The friend you’re full psychologist for?
• The night out you secretly regret the most
• The last person you stalked on Instagram
• An ick you made up just to cope
• Who you’d kiss then cringe after (BUT THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT THEM)
• One thing you pretend you’re over but definitely aren’t
• If you’ve ever done a “just checking in” text to someone you shouldn’t & to who?
• Your most iconic unhinged moment
• Whose Insta stories you watch like a TV series
• One lie you tell people all the time
• The person you think about the most but won’t admit
• The real reason you stopped talking to your last situationship
⸻
DARES
• Say “I really want to see you, I miss you so much. Roar in dinosaur means I love you” in your best baby voice (I’m cringing x)
• Let someone in the room write your next Insta caption
• Send a selfie to a random contact (close your eyes and scroll baby)
• Call someone and say you had a dream about them
• Post a rogue selfie on your story with no context
• Let the group pick a photo for your lockscreen
• Make a TikTok with Jason Darolos “Savage love” song and post it
• Text someone “you’re actually obsessed with me”
• Take a chaotic Polaroid
• Let someone write a truth about you on the whiteboard
• Sip your drink every time someone mentions a boys name
• Do a catwalk to the kitchen like it’s Fashion Week
• Message an Aussie Shore cast member and say “Cati dared me to do it x”
• Let the group scroll your Saved posts
• Say your most delusional manifestation out loud
NEVER HAVE I EVER
• Never have I ever accidentally fallen in love with someone I only meant to use for entertainment
• Never have I ever flirted my way out of a situation I 100 percent caused
• Never have I ever blocked someone then checked their profile from the group chat’s burner
• Never have I ever told a man “I’m crazy” and meant it as a warning
• Never have I ever made someone think I was obsessed when I was actually bored
• Never have I ever walked past my ex like he was staff
• Never have I ever given someone a fake name because they didn’t deserve the real one
• Never have I ever used someone’s Spotify to stalk their emotional stability
• Never have I ever texted someone back purely out of scientific curiosity
• Never have I ever made eye contact with someone for 0.4 seconds and built a whole love story
• Never have I ever sent a risky text then hoped the universe would take accountability
• Never have I ever acted unbothered so hard that I almost believed myself
• Never have I ever kissed someone because they looked like a character in my delulu fantasy
• Never have I ever become best friends with a random girl in a club bathroom and trauma-dumped
• Never have I ever pretended not to care when I absolutely cared like a psychopath
• Never have I ever stalked someone’s photos and judged their friends more than them
• Never have I ever manifested someone then instantly regretted it when they appeared
• Never have I ever done a makeup touch-up in the middle of an argument
• Never have I ever called someone out then gaslit myself into thinking maybe I imagined it
• Never have I ever said “last time I’m seeing him” and then made zero effort to avoid him
• Never have I ever used someone’s height as a personality test
• Never have I ever gone on a date purely for the story
• Never have I ever trusted a man who owns LED lights
• Never have I ever blocked someone and then unblocked them just to watch them spiral
• Never have I ever scrolled so far on someone’s feed I ended up in their graduation photos
• Never have I ever sent a voice memo then immediately regretted the cringe
• Never have I ever made my friend screenshot a story because I refuse to appear in the views
• Never have I ever given someone a second chance for research purposes
• Never have I ever disappeared for three days then acted like nothing happened
• Never have I ever judged a man purely based on his shoes and been correct
• Never have I ever flirted with someone because I was bored and then they fell in love
• Never have I ever given a guy advice I hope he never uses on another girl
• Never have I ever enjoyed being the villain just a little too much
Love Cati xx
